zorin industries

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News

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Zorin purchases the entire Beatles back catalogue

London, UK

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Max Zorin today secured a remarkable business coup by purchasing the entire back catalogue of Beatles studio recordings.  Mr Zorin said, “This is a wonderful deal for me and for Zorin Industries.  I am now in possession of 14 shiny silver discs, known to audio experts as Compact Discs, which contain the master recordings of all the Beatles albums.  From these discs I will be able to make many, many copies onto cassette which I, and I alone, will be able to sell around the world as the sole owner of these master recordings.”

Mr Zorin declined to reveal the purchase cost for the recordings, but did reveal he purchased them through a specialist music trading company named ‘HMV’.

Posted by News on 09/09 at 09:03 AM
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Monday, August 17, 2009

Wanted

Do you know this man?

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At a recent sale at the Zorin stables, this man, posing as a wealthy horse trainer named ‘James St. John Smythe’, broke into Mr Zorin’s factory facilities, causing thousands of pounds worth of damage and in the process rendering at lest two generic henchmen unconscious.  He is also suspected of entering the bedroom of a young female employee and making her ‘see to him personally’.

The man claimed to be English, and is suspected to be old enough to be your grandfather.

If you have any information regarding this man’s real identity or his whereabouts, please contact .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) or leave a note in the comments area of this webpage.

Many thanks

M. Scarpine
Head of Security

Posted by News on 08/17 at 06:14 PM
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Friday, August 14, 2009

Radio Documentary

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Radio France Internationale have produced a documentary featuring a visit to the ex-headquarters of Zorin Industries!  Download the programme here.  Further information can be found here.

Posted by News on 08/14 at 11:38 AM
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Wednesday, June 10, 2009

The Zorin Industries store is now open!

Zorin Industries are pleased to announce that our on-line store is now open.

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Offering a range of quality Zorin branded merchandise at very reasonable prices, the Zorin store is the place to pick up genuine Zorin gear.

The store can be found here.

Be sure to keep visiting the store, as new products will be added on a regular basis!

Posted by News on 06/10 at 04:17 PM
News • Worldwide • (2) Comments • Permalink

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Kim Jong-il ‘Extremely satisfied’ with Zorin Industries device

The leader of the North Korean Workers’ Party™ delivers his personal thanks to Max Zorin following the successful test of a Zorin Industries designed and supplied ‘Nuclear Device’

Pyongyang, North Korea

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In a phone call earlier today, Kim Jong-il, leader of the North Korean Workers’ Party™, delivered his personal thanks to the CEO of Zorin Industries, Mr Max Zorin, following the successful test of a ‘Nuclear Device’ designed and supplied by Zorin Industries.  The device, which had the power equivalent to approx 17 ‘John McClane’s’, was detonated in an abandoned mine beneath a lake 230 miles north east of Pyongyang at a depth of just over six miles.

Pyongyang’s official Korean Central News Agency released the following statement

“The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea successfully conducted one more underground nuclear test on May 25 as part of the measures to bolster up its nuclear deterrent for self-defence in every way as requested by its scientists and technicians.

“The current nuclear test was safely conducted on a new higher level in terms of its explosive power and technology of its control and the results of the test helped satisfactorily settle the scientific and technological problems arising in further increasing the power of nuclear weapons and steadily developing nuclear technology.

“The successful nuclear test is greatly inspiring the army and people of the DPRK all out in the 150-day campaign, intensifying the drive for effecting a new revolutionary surge to open the gate to a thriving nation.

“The test will contribute to defending the sovereignty of the country and the nation and socialism and ensuring peace and security on the Korean Peninsula and the region around it with the might of Songun.”

A spokesperson for Zorin Industries said “Kick Ass!  That thing was almighty!  It caused a freaking earthquake man!  Those stupid Koreans.  They think they’re getting the bomb - all we’re doing is prepping for main strike!  Dumb ass mofos!”

Posted by News on 05/27 at 08:58 AM
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