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Thursday, September 24, 2009

Classified - For Sale

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Renault Fuego Turbo


Red, 2,000km with full service history, velour upholstery, auto-reverse cassette desk.
Former company vehicle, one lady driver, only used on short trips.
Never chopped in half or pushed into a lake.


Bargain at €3,000.  Will consider all serious offers.


Inquiries to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).


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Posted by Jenny Flex on 09/24 at 08:01 AM
Personnel • (0) Comments • Permalink

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Employee Profile - May Day

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May joined Zorin Industries from IBM where she held the post of HR Manager for 3 years. During this time she played a key role in reducing headcount by 36% through a proactive mix of voluntary termination and a deskilling process now commonly referred to in the HR industry as ‘the car wash’.


May then chose to look for a new role involving regular travel and a more hands on approach to supporting the company strategy. Zorin Industries’ international business activities, along with charismatic chairman Max Zorin’s keen interest in horse racing, have proven to be the ideal challenge for May. It was Max Zorin himself who suggested that May would have a natural connection with his stallions when he first saw her bending over during a judo training session. He was right and May brings to Zorin Industries a broad range of skills in both people and horse management.


Outside the world of work May enjoys parachuting, lifting things, wrestling and listening to pop music where she considers herself to be something of a slave to the rythym. She is currently single but is looking for the right man to take care of her personally, however orange or bumbling he may be.

Posted by News on 09/23 at 03:49 PM
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Thursday, July 02, 2009

Zorin Industries purchase Gordon Ramsay

Historic deal is reached as Zorin Industries assume full control over ‘foul mouthed’ celebrity chef.

London, United Kingdom

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Zorin Industries are pleased to announce that, with immediate effect, the corporation will assume full control of top celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay.  Following months of intense media speculation about possible takeover targets for the corporation, CEO Max Zorin explained the rationale behind the purchase.

“Gordon Ramsay is a perfect fit for Zorin Industries. Not only is he a wonderful chef who is at the top of his field, he is also a second rate human being, who has taken the art of bullying to a whole new level.  He also has good hair.”

Ramsay will initially assume the role of Head of Obscenities within the newly formed Corporate Communications department.  He is also seen as a long term successor to Max Zorin in the area of ‘unnecessarily harsh staff reprimands’.

Max Zorin added “It’s no secret that we’ve been looking at a number of takeover targets and, truth be told, we really did want Michael Jackson.  However, the situation changed dramatically when ‘Wacko’ successfully staged his own death, making him much more expensive and much less useful to the company.  Once I saw how the Jackson situation was developing, I decided that I had to move for Ramsay quickly – before he did something that made him popular again, or evoked mass public sympathy.”

Gordon Ramsay was quoted as saying “F**k off you f**king f**k-wits.”

Posted by News on 07/02 at 01:22 PM
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