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Friday, June 25, 2010

Zorin disowns French Football team

Leading French Industrialist ‘fires’ entire squad and distances himself from failed bid to salvage World Cup campaign

Knysna, South Africa

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Despite encouraging his team to improvise on the field and to play with fear, the French football team have crashed out of the World Cup in complete failure.  Following the final group game against South Africa, which France lost 2-1, Mr Zorin squarely blamed the players for the failure.  “Look at them!  They are fools.  Even the USA, a country who do not even play football, have qualified for the last 16.  This is a national disgrace, and one that soils the good name of Zorin.  For this the players will pay - with their lives!”

It is thought that the squad have already been herded into a local silver mine in preparation for the final solution.

Posted by Max Zorin on 06/25 at 03:37 PM
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Thursday, June 17, 2010

Zorin assumes control of French national football team

Leading French Industrialist replaces beleaguered Raymond Domenech in bid to salvage World Cup campaign

Knysna, South Africa

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Max Zorin has arrived at the French training camp in Knysna, South Africa, to assume control of the failing football side ahead of their second group game tonight.  Mr Zorin said he felt ‘compelled to act sooner rather than later’ and that there was ‘no bad feeling’ between himself and Raymond Domenech. Mr Zorin said “He (Domenech) is not upset.  He has decided to drop out and I respect his decision.  As I speak, he is returning to France aboard my private airship.”

When questioned about his plans to revitalise his team, Mr Zorin’s answer was simple.  “More. More power. More. Do it!”

Mr Zorin has long been a vocal critic of Mr Domenech.  In a recent phone call between the two men, on the subject of the French Football authorities reluctance to sack Mr Domenech, Mr Zorin was heard to say “If you’re the best they’ve got, they’re more likely try and cover up your embarrassing incompetence.”

Posted by Max Zorin on 06/17 at 12:52 PM
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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Zorin Industries Associate Company Offers

Zorin Industries is delighted to have joined forces with two leading financial services providers that offer the very best investment opportunities for our clients.


NB Printed material is available for the hard of hearing and those who feel that the speakers in these messages are slurring uncontrollably.

STOP PRESS - Investors seeking a greater rate of return than 3.7% can apply for Zorin Industries Silicun Flud scheme. Just a small initial down payment followed by a minimal ongoing annuity secures your part in an investment that is simply dynamite.

Inquiries to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).

*** As with all investments please note your body can go down very fast as well as up***

Posted by News on 12/15 at 11:19 AM
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Wednesday, October 07, 2009

128-B

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Posted by PMS Team on 10/07 at 03:17 PM
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Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Zorin Industries to rigorously defend FT allegations

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London, UK

Zorin Industries today launched legal proceedings against the London Financial Times.  The action follows a recent story published by the paper entitled ‘Zorin’s Nazi Past’ by so called ‘journalist’ James Stock.

Mr Zorin denies, in the strongest terms, all the allegations set forth in the report.  In particular, the assertion that Mr Zorin’s birth was the result of some sort of evil Nazi genetics experiment gone wrong has absolutely no basis in fact.  As is it universally known, Mr Zorin is a leading French industrialist, and it would be impossible for him, or any of his staff, to have any connection to the use of steroids on pregnant women in Nazi concentration camps.  It’s absurd.  That kind of thing, while likely producing children with phenomenal IQs, would lead to psychotic side effects, which is clearly not something that a man like Mr Zorin could ever be accused of.

The Financial Times could not be reached for comment, as we could not find their phone number.

Posted by News on 10/06 at 10:34 PM
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