About
Welcome to the online home of Zorin Industries.
Here you will find information on all aspects of the work Zorin Industries is involved with.
Categories
Monthly Archives
- December 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- Complete Archives
- Category Archives
Most recent entries
- Zorin Industries Associate Company Offers
- 128-B
- Zorin Industries to rigorously defend FT allegations
- Wanted - Part II
- Classified - For Sale
Syndicate
zorin industries
Monday, July 20, 2009
Over the Moon!
Zorin Industries, in partnership with the Drax Enterprise Corporation, agree deal to build ‘Moonbase One’.
California, USA
On the 40th anniversary of man’s first steps on the Moon on July 20, 1969, Zorin Industries are proud to announce that the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) have selected the company to design, build and deliver the first permanent human habitation environment on an extraterrestrial body – namely the creation of a colony on the Moon.
The project, titled ‘Moonbase One’, is a joint venture with the Drax Enterprise Corporation and is scheduled to be completed by 2018.
Max Zorin, CEO of Zorin Industries, explained further at a news conference earlier today. “Zorin and Drax are a perfect fit for this project. Drax has many years of space flight and extra-terrestrial construction expertise. Add to this Zorin Industries’ knowledge of mining techniques and our domination of micro controller technology you end up with a very powerful combination which NASA was powerless to resist really.”
“The concept is, as you can see, simple. Drax Enterprise Corporation space craft will commence a regular flight schedule to the Moon, using their fleet of state of the art ‘Space Shuttles’. Each flight will deliver a piece of engineering so vast in it’s complexity that it can only be controlled using something I like to call a ‘microchip’. These electronic and mechanical marvels will be managed from Earth, drilling down below the surface of the Moon to not only create a network of tunnels and caverns, but to also produce crushed rock which will be used in several different ways - as a building material on the surface or as a raw material to be processed to extract the chemical elements required to support human life.”
Sir Hugo Drax was equally enthusiastic about the planned joint venture. “First there was the dream, now there is reality. Here in the untainted cradle of the heavens will be created a new super race, a race of perfect physical specimens. You have been selected as its progenitors. Like gods, your offspring will return to Earth and shape it in their image. You have all served in public capacities in my terrestrial empire. Your seed, like yourselves, will pay deference to the ultimate dynasty which I alone have created. From their first day on Earth they will be able to look up and know that there is law and order in the heavens.”
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Zorin Industries purchase Gordon Ramsay
Historic deal is reached as Zorin Industries assume full control over ‘foul mouthed’ celebrity chef.
London, United Kingdom
Zorin Industries are pleased to announce that, with immediate effect, the corporation will assume full control of top celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay. Following months of intense media speculation about possible takeover targets for the corporation, CEO Max Zorin explained the rationale behind the purchase.
“Gordon Ramsay is a perfect fit for Zorin Industries. Not only is he a wonderful chef who is at the top of his field, he is also a second rate human being, who has taken the art of bullying to a whole new level. He also has good hair.”
Ramsay will initially assume the role of Head of Obscenities within the newly formed Corporate Communications department. He is also seen as a long term successor to Max Zorin in the area of ‘unnecessarily harsh staff reprimands’.
Max Zorin added “It’s no secret that we’ve been looking at a number of takeover targets and, truth be told, we really did want Michael Jackson. However, the situation changed dramatically when ‘Wacko’ successfully staged his own death, making him much more expensive and much less useful to the company. Once I saw how the Jackson situation was developing, I decided that I had to move for Ramsay quickly – before he did something that made him popular again, or evoked mass public sympathy.”
Gordon Ramsay was quoted as saying “F**k off you f**king f**k-wits.”
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Pegasus delivers victory for Zorin Industries!
Pegasus claims a dramatic victory in the Queen Anne Stakes, the opening race of Royal Ascot.
Ascot, Berkshire
With just a furlong to go, it looked like Cooper Girl and Fluke were going to battle to the finish to claim victory in the Queen Anne Stakes. They reckoned without Pegasus. The horse - jointly owned by Mr Bob Conley and Mr Max Zorin and trained at Mr Zorin’s private stables near Paris, accelerated over the final 200 meters like a F1 racing car, astounding onlookers and experts alike with the sheer power that allowed the jockey, Mr Hervé Villechaize, to time the run to line to perfection, eventually beating Fluke in to second place, with Cooper Girl back in third.
A 66-1 shot before the race began, Pegasus was not considered a serious contender prior to the race, even though Zorin has a remarkable knack of turning horses of a questionable bloodline into superstar equine performers.
Dr Carl Mortner, head of the Zorin stables and personal breeding consultant to Mr Zorin, was questioned about the remarkable victory. ‘Selective breeding is important. But more important is conditioning and a desire, ja?’. He added, rather unnecessarily and in a slightly sinister way, ‘My principles apply equally to human beings.’
Mr Zorin will be looking to compete a double victory as another of his horses, Inferno, races early tomorrow morning with jockey Mr James St John Smythe in the saddle.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
The Zorin Industries store is now open!
Zorin Industries are pleased to announce that our on-line store is now open.
Offering a range of quality Zorin branded merchandise at very reasonable prices, the Zorin store is the place to pick up genuine Zorin gear.
The store can be found here.
Be sure to keep visiting the store, as new products will be added on a regular basis!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Spotted!
In the first of what will be a regular feature here a zorinindustries.co.uk, the Zorin Historical Archive team will be posting details of items connected to Zorin Industries that have been found by members of the public. The items can be online, found in the real world, a video or a picture - in fact anything at all! To contribute, please send details of your find to
.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
The very first spot is from a Mr Hugo Drax. He contacted Zorin Industries to tell us that an original Zorin Industries ‘V-Tipper’ mine wagon was spotted in a museum! Great spot Hugo!
The original web page can be found here
This type of mine wagon would’ve been used in one of Zorin Industries mining concerns near Silicon Valley way back in the mid 80’s. Goodness knows how it ended up in Amberley!
So keep your eyes open people, and happy spotting!
Statistics
This page has been viewed 19360 times
Page rendered in 0.2422 seconds
Total Entries: 34
Total Comments: 15
Total Trackbacks: 0
Most Recent Entry: 12/15/2009 11:38 am
Most Recent Comment on: 01/10/2010 07:25 am
Total Members: 7
Total Logged in members: 0
Total guests: 8
Total anonymous users: 0
Most Recent Visitor on: 03/11/2010 08:24 pm
The most visitors ever was 35 on 02/13/2010 02:52 am
Quick Links
Find what you’re looking for here
Zorin Store
Max's Blog
What is on our CEO’s mind?
Main Strike
Get the latest on ‘Project Main Strike’